Learners’ Art

Since 2019, Criminon UK has held two competitions annually for any prisoner who wants to submit artwork, poetry, short stories or any other written work. The results below are from all of the winners from the last two years.

December 2020

“No Place Like Home” by Mohamed, HMP Gartree

There is no place like home is something I fear. It is something I have thought about and dreamt of.

It is a feeling since my sentencing, year after year and day after day, that is developing a complete fear of freedom. Fear of what I might face and the changes that will exist.

 Every day that passes, I am not sure that I want to leave.

“A Goodbye Letter From The Inside To You” by Kevin, HMP Whatton

June 2020

“The Pen is Mightier than the Sword” by David, HMP The Verne

Untitled by Ishmael, HMP Bullingdon

It was the early 90’s, and I remember as a child the very first time my mother took me and my two older siblings to Blackpool. Being from an urban background, and mum being a single parent, to me this felt like we had just been told we were all going to Disney Land.

Mum had arranged the trip with her friends and their respected children, so there was a coach booked, and a load of happy go lucky black people on route to the seaside. On the coach I’ll never forget the other mum’s handing out bits of fried chicken and hard dough bread (a Caribbean bread supplement) which was so tasty. The noise on the coach was loud, due to every one being excited to where we were all heading.

Our local area was urban, no seaside, no grass lands, no trees just a concrete jungle and a maze of high rise flats. The smell in the flats were disgusting, fuelled by urine soaked stair cases, the noise level was loud with the sound of Reggae music coming from behind their front doors, due to our neighbours all trying to drown out the misery of their existence.

Back on the coach the driver said we will be in Blackpool within the next ten minutes. From a distance I could see the sand, sea with the big famous Blackpool tower, I’d always heard about but was never fortunate to have been afforded the opportunity see. Wow! Mum had pulled it out of the bag.

The coach driver had pulled up into a local car park, myself and all the other children rushed to get off the coach to start the experience of our day trip. The first thing I wanted to do, was go to the beach to ride the Donkeys, but instead mum said let’s have a look around first, so we all ran to the beach, took off our shoe’s and trainers and ran bare foot into the sea. Having the cold sea water run between my toes, it felt funny as the only time I’d experienced this type of wet sensation was when mum set us a bath at home. Is this how the other half lived? There were funny tasty smells, from doughnuts to candy floss, as well as that sticky rocky smell you inhale, there were burger vans with American style hot dogs, and the beautiful smell of the good old British Fish and chips.

Our parents had all brought day passes for the theme park and that highlighted my excitement to a greater degree. There was no theme park rides off limits so my intentions were to ride everything until the wheels fell off.

It was coming up to midday and all the parents decided to have lunch on the beach. Being in Blackpool it was traditional to have, cod fish and chips and loads of salt and vinegar. Mum had arranged a great day. Thank you mum!

November 2019

A Good Old Christmas’ by Stephen, HMP Doncaster

 

June 2019

‘Untitled’ by Stephen, HMP Doncaster

‘Reflect’ by Matt, HMP Swaleside

I sit here staring up at the moon,

Wishing I could go home soon.

Missing my son and my wife like mad,

Trying to be happy but mostly feel sad.

Calling my family every weekend,

Letters on my side that I still need to send.

Our chats on the phone used to be gentle,

But now all the arguments are driving me mental.

I need to do the courses to get my parole,

Whatever it takes to get out of this hole.

I’ve never been one to shed any tears,

Though my crime has cost me fourteen years,

Of not being a husband or a Dad to my kid,

Yet still find it hard to feel guilt for what I did.

But I don’t feel proud for what I have done,

It drives me crazy that I can’t protect him,

There’s no way that all this shit doesn’t affect him.

That day I should never have gone on a bender,

But I admit my guilt Surrey Police, I surrender.

I thought my victim had done wrong to my friend,

So drug-fuelled, decided his life had to end.

But now I realise that I’d made a mistake,

And this guy’s life wasn’t mine to take.

The choices I’ve made have rarely been worth it,

And I have never claimed to be perfect.

But hang on a minute, is this guilt I’m now feeling?

My victim will have a lifetime of healing.

I’m changed as a person now, so no need to worry,

And I need you to know John, I really am sorry!

‘The Strugles Inside’ by James, HMP Belmarsh

Just cuz I’m slightly autistic doesn’t mean

I’m a dipstick, my ADHD and Tourette’s make me

seem quick to flip on and off like a light switch

but to the set regime the officers don’t stick

and on top of my own life stresses I can’t handle

this HMP regime is meant to be more strict but

this HMP Belmarsh is chaotic making the spice of

prison life you know the one the rice seem like

the only way to calm my appetite for rebellion and

another fight cuz god only knows what regime awaits

me after the ending of each and every night and the

start of day light it’s structure I need within my life

so judge and jury you were not right this time

prisons like this can’t help anyone fix their broken

lives but I won’t give up fighting for a better life

I won’t waste my precious time in cell study options

I will find O.U. springs to mind and mental health help

is all hype so I’ll fix myself over time cuz even

in this madness I know deep inside I can find my

very own peace of mind and Criminon is another

option that springs to mind the study helping

me through my lonely nights and now more

skills I have for life, so I now know sooner

or later I will win this fight and live a

long and happy life.

‘I Am Not My Crime’ by James, HMP Wymott

I am not my crime
I know that’s all you see
It doesn’t matter what I do
A criminal’s all I’ll be
I am not my crime
But I do deserve my cell
Every minute of my confinement
As I’ve put people through hell
I am not my crime
And you’ll never see the good
The times I gave a helping hand
When there’s nobody else that would
I am not my crime
And I live with all my shame
When my walk to freedom comes
My life is not the same
I am not my crime
And please believe this true
I’ll leave this place a better man
No risk to them or you

‘Giving Back’ by Jeanette HMP Bronzefield

 In October 2016, I am sitting in a Serco van just being sentenced in the old Bailey.
I am numb. It’s already dark outside, I have no clue what time it is.

Not knowing what to expect from Prison, the only knowledge I have is from TV documentaries and movies.

Prison looks like hell on earth!

I am petrified, never been so scared in my life!

The van door opens and I hear keys, an officer is unlocking my cubicle. I see the entrance of my “new home”.

Little did I know how scared I will be for many months, just to hear the sound of keys!

More officers are coming, more waiting.
I am being interviewed, back to the room, they call the “holding cell”.

Suddenly I am taken into a small cosy room where a little Asian girl is smiling at me, telling me she is a listener here, trained by the Samaritans.
Telling me that she is a prisoner herself and that I am safe!

Explaining to me that the listeners are here for the emotional support for myself and all the women who are upset or in distress. That I can press the buzzer in my cell, so that I can call for a listener at any time, listeners are available 24/7 and working on a voluntary basis.

This little lady treated me with kindness and care. She understood my fears.

For the first time that day I can finally exhale and breathe normal again. I never thought this care exists in Prison, it felt genuine.

She explained to me more about the prison regimes. Reassuring me that I am safe here.

And I was, for the last 3 years, everything she said to me, that very first day of my arrival in Bronzefield was true.

Whenever I needed a listener, and believe me I needed them nearly every night for the first months, they came to see me, calmed me down after the panic attacks I had.

Every listener I met was a great support for me.

I am a listener myself for over 2 years now. And even if I am woken up in the middle of the night, it gives me a great feeling, knowing that the caller walks out of the listener suite with a little smile on their face or that I could comfort her by just listening!

 
 
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